By Nachman Forer
People have the understanding that if they go to shul – they can connect to Hashem.
Is it just automatic? I go to shul and automatically feel something?
What is it really? It must be deeper than that. Let’s delve inside and understand the essence of it.
What is my true self? My true self is pure Atzmus, pure G-dliness. If I am connected to my true self, then I am connected to Hashem on the deepest level.
What caused us to lose that sense of connection, to lose the very thing that we were created for?
Trauma.. A common used word. What is it really? Trauma isn’t just the act that happened to us that caused us to be ‘traumatized’. Trauma is what happened inside of us as a result of the external action. When a trauma happened to me, I was forced to disconnect from myself, shut down, in order to survive. Trauma is disconnection, disconnection from self.
When we clear out the trauma, do the work with it, what we are doing, is reconnecting to our true self, and essentially reconnecting to Hashem.
Whenever we are triggered, that is the key, and opportunity we are given to do the work, and clear out the trauma that is still sitting there. To clear out the trauma and reconnect.
When the nations of the world bother us, it’s only because they are messengers to trigger us.
When my wife triggers me, when my child triggers me – Hashem is sending me a beautiful opportunity to reconnect to myself.
We have gone through wars, and the disconnect from self is still there. So now G-d sent us this virus. This virus that forced us into total isolation. An isolation that brings fear. Uncertainty of how to be when I’m just with myself.
The whole point of being alone is to sit with myself, suspend my thoughts, reconnect to my gut, to my very essence.
G-d sent us this virus, telling us ”Listen, you are going to have to be alone. You are going to have to sink into yourself, sink into your body and clear the trauma, and reconnect to yourself much more than you ever knew.”
This is the essence of going to shul. Connecting to self, meditating with Hashem, trying to know Hashem. There is tremendous beauty and impact when this work is done within a minyan. In the proper setting of a group. When someone is vulnerable and authentic, and is witnessed by others, he begins to feel accepted in his true self. When others see him in his vulnerability, he feels accepted in his vulnerability. “Wow, I’m accepted in my new self, and if I’m accepted in my new self – that means I matter, I’m good enough, and I don’t have to hold onto that shame.”
Although there is incredible value in doing this work in a minyan, in a group, G-d is sending us a new opportunity.
Today you do not have a minyan. Today you have you. Sit with yourself, sit with the silence. Sit with the uncomfortable. Clear out your trauma and reconnect.
G-d is sending us this opportunity, so that eventually, when we do go back to shul, we can understand what it really means, what we are to accomplish and appreciate the true value of going to Shul.
Are we ready to go back to Shul?