By Nachman Forer
We all have beliefs that are with us constantly which have an impact on everything that we do in life. We can also call these beliefs stories.
Peter Levine defines trauma as a disconnection from self.
What does that look like?
It’s not that I got hit by my Rebbe!
It’s that when I got hit, it was too painful to allow myself to be vulnerable, so I disconnected from self.
When I disconnect from myself, I have an emotion, but being that I’m not fully connected to my self, I am not able to fully process the emotion in a healthy way. So the best way that the body knows how to deal with the emotion is to push it down and not deal with it. But now, when I notice a feeling I don’t understand where it is coming from, especially if it comes from far back in the past when I was a little child, which can be very frightening.
At this point, I need to justify my feelings so I start building a “story” about myself to make my emotions make sense. I tell myself “I’m not good enough, I don’t matter”, “I don’t deserve” “I am not lovable” and other limiting stories. The power behind the story is the emotion that is driving it.
In other words, I learn to justify my feeling by creating a story around it. For example, if I had a dream that there were nazis chasing me and I wake up afraid. Am I afraid because I had the dream or I do I have fear inside me already so I create the dream to justify my emotion of fear?
So, as I get older and I don’t process my trauma, it has a profound impact on my life. If I have a belief that “I don’t matter”, chances are that I will allow people to take advantage of me. Imagine if your spouse had that judgement about themselves, how good can your relationship be? If my wife asks me to take out the garbage, I can interpret that to mean that she thinks I’m useless and only good to do menial tasks. At that point, I am triggered and I get angry and what follows can be a fight or disagreement.
As human beings, we have needs. They can be physical, mental and spiritual. And, we all strive to get those needs met,either in a healthy way or in an unhealthy way. If I have trauma inside me, meaning that I am disconnected from myself, and I have needs, I can fulfill my needs in an unhealthy way. So if someone cheats on their spouse, or does some other bad thing, it’s not that they are bad people, it’s just that they want to fulfill a need. They do not know how to fulfill it in a healthy way due to their trauma, so they fulfill it in an unhealthy way.
I,as an individual, have individual trauma & communal trauma, and we, as a nation have trauma. Not only that, as a nation, we still have trauma from 2000 years ago. We inherit the trauma from our parents. So in a certain sense, we are all living with trauma.
When I look at this from a clear place, it seems to me that trauma is “Klipa” and the more we clear the trauma, the more we make the world ready for Mashiach.
We are like a spouse to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If I am holding on to my stories that prevent me from being my true essential self than my relationships can be clouded with fulfilling my needs and desires from an unhealthy and/or desperate place.
Who wants a desperate spouse? I don’t want my spouse to be desperate for me, it’s annoying.
Today we want Mashiach from a place of desperation, because I feel that when Mashiach comes he will save me and I won’t have to worry about finances, health in my family, etc… BUT, Mashiach is not coming for that. He is not coming to save us from our money problems or to heal our physical illnesses although that is a side benefit.
To really prepare ourselves for Mashiach, we should work on clearing the trauma.
It’s by law of attraction!
It’s by living today as if Mashiach is already here!
So when I clear my unhealthy trauma, my trauma which is holding me back from me being my true essential self, THAT is me living with Mashiach.
It is me getting rid of my trauma, so that I can live my true essential self.
And only then am I preparing my space for Mashiach.
When I do that, it affects you. When you do that it affects others , and so forth. And soon, the world is changing so we are all in process of working to get closer to our true selves.
In my opinion, this is how we prepare for Mashiach.